Life as a BitterGourd Wormie

I told myself umpteen times, bear and swallow whatsoever that happens. Be it anything thats malicious or pleasant. Each time.. it accumulates, stack up pieces by pieces.. and now, it has turn into something eruptive like an imperceptible unconscious volcano thats gonna explode out all the burning lava without giving any notification or warning.
I tell myself.. never ever shed half a tear over such things. I got to learn to be independent, someday somehow. Yet when it comes to explaining oneself.. I cant take it. Yes, its one of my weak point, weakest point like a death sign or a dead end for me, I'd say and must admit with.
I hate to be accuse, yet at the same time I hate to explain myself. Cause I always think that, its not needed..someway somehow? Dont you all think so uh?
In my point of perspective, I personally feels and finds that- True Friends dont need your reasons and Non-Friends dont deserve your explanation. Agree?
Yet somehow.. this person who mistaken me somehow stands between these two lines.. She's the last person whom, I'll want to have issues with seriously. Our relationship's complicated, like a hard-solving mathematical sum that requires many formulas to be involved with. And the worse thing is.. I hate to solve issues off..
Anyway, things that happened to me today, just aint something positive, well maybe I should say those words are over outrageous that they are actually kinda deleterious to my ears.
And yes.. I broke-down today..finally and seriously. Literally and Practically..that nothing could ever cheer me up..not even my favorite thing I'll turn to whenever Im feeling dishearten to shook up my endorphins cells again; Ice-Cream.

I can take all sorts of trenchant words, but when it comes to explaining myself.. I suck at it. Especially when Im being 'accuse-d' in a way.
Now I know why people always say this- Good things will stay beyond and Bad things will spread way beyond. People will only remember the bad things you've done to them and forget those good deeds you once did that affects them.
It doesnt and will never ever ever over my dead body, pays good to be kind. N E V E R.
Be it, no matter how old you are..People are just insanely being ironic. Now, I've sorta seen how good could one can actually masquerade themselves as and hypocritically-scary Human-Beings are and gets, in life.
And this makes me wanna stay younger even more! FUCK.

Oh and have you guys, ever play this game called the; 'Broken Telephone Message Passing Game'?
Is like, a line of number of people standing a distance away from each other, and the first person will receive a particular message to pass down to the next one, and it continues till the very last person.
And when the last person speaks off the message that was being passed down, it'll be totally different from the very first person who've received it. Yes, TOTALLY D I F F E R E N T.
Oh pondering why am I saying this? --- Cause this happened to me, a very serious one in my life. No joke, and this link to why I say I suck at explaining.. as I seriously think, its way too outrageous already.
Reason why?--- When I told my friends (people who know me long enough) about it, they went.."WHAT THE FUCK?! ANGEL SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU'RE NEVER LIKE THIS AND WILL NEVER BE? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS EH?!?!?! THEY DONT KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE AND DONT UNDERSTAND YOU MAN SERIOUSLY!"
Thats what I meant, True Friends will never need your reasons, and Non-Friends will forever requires your explanations whereby I think that its just a waste of my time reasoning out non-reasonable things.
FML.

And yes, when someone is at fury-top, they'll tend to spill off things without letting it being process through the cerebum, needless to say the Right Cerebral Hemisphere of it?
Still.. people who knows me or have been tailing my blog should know that, HATE yes, this word 'HATE' to me, is a very very very ultimately strong word with drastic meanings behind it. I'll never ever use it, unless.. ah fuck, I cant think of any cases yet. Like I mean, seriously.. its too strong for me, that I dare not use it unless Im kidding with my own friends within our personal conversations that doesnt requires and involves personal feelings.
Other than that, I couldnt really find a real reason on why on Mother Earth of HolyCrap should I ever use this Four Letter Word; H A T E.

BREATHE IN .. BREATHE OUT .. x (3)
Sleep and you know you'll forget everything by then when youre all awake tomorrow, Angel!
xoxo xxx*blows flying kisses
I need someone to make me smile, every single day so that when crap happens and gets in the line, at least I know this someone will be there to cheer me up, instantly within split seconds..like lightning.

" fly me to the moon, and let me play upon the stars "