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I know it myself, its like so crystal clear in my mind that I wanna celebrate with A*.
B*, C* and D* initiated and asked, still.. I just wanna celebrate it with A*.
Sigh, Sigh, Sigh.. BIG BIG SIGH!
Dearest Fairy GodMom, its pretty obvious that this year, my wish's different from any other previous ones.. er ever since Primary3.
Hurm.. please grant my wish this year, and Im sorry to be this greedy to voice it out to you now instead of the actual day itself, cause.. Im afraid time's running out, as this thing will be too late to be wish-ed on the day my 19th birthday fell.
'Hello Imma DumbBell, waiting for this One Miracle to drop by me now..' --- My Birthday Wish.
Oh one more thing, Hi Body. Stop being so weak, seriously.
I realised this, if I were to go out any days except Friday after work, I really literally cant drag my ass off the bed, the next morning. Today's a Super Good example, I overslept and took MC instead. Though for the past 2weeks, I've been going out after work too, but today's really one gone case day. -_____________________________-
Im on the line of hesitating, thinking of if I should voice out about my Chronic Sleeping Disord to them. But thing is.. Im afraid that they might think Im cracking a hella bomb joke or something.
Then again.. Yes, I can ask my Doctor to print the Cert as Verification about my illness, but.. I dont want them to have this mentality like, 'OH, so now what? Trying to tell us that you could be late like uhuh Every-Single-Morning kinda thing?'
HolyCrap man seriously.. Im so confused now.. Hurrr >":
I must kick this disease off me.. but how?!?!?! /":
Cause I know if I dont get rid of this stupid illness, I'll be facing this hassle issue down the pathway when Im really working, in future, like AGAIN?! (roll eyeballs)
According to the Doctor, the only way that this illness is gonna fuck off would be, me being a GoodGirl taking pills (something I hate it ttm, sooo cumbersome and excess medicine=harmful instead of being helpful), which means relying on it till one fine day which God Knows when is it gonna be.. or either that, lead a Healthy Lifestyle that one day; (which again, I dont effing know when is it gonna be?!) my BodyClock switches back to normal, and my neurons are immune to it, so my brain will work and accommodate fairly well with body cells.
Like WhatTheFuck right?! Are both of these even choices? @.@
Why on earth am I so unlucky to contract these kinda disease whereby 90% of the Teenagers are leading an abnormal; Nocturnal lifestyle?
Ah, whatsoever it is, I think Im still gonna go out after work; but not every single day la. Like seriously, working's already enough of being no life, dont expect me to turn into someone who's life's goes like this; after work=home, except for Fridays and Saturdays=OutingDay?
NO way am I gonna let this happen! How can I turn into sucha No-Life-Soul? N O, NO!
CHU♥ Xo A
" gotta whisper cause I cant be too loud "
S U N D A Y. Cant believe that its Sunday..
'I cant wait for work tomorrow!' (rowlll eyeballs)
Gonna dive in sheets pretty soon! BuhBye Cookies <":
CHU♥ Xo A
" trash cans and paper bags "
HelloHi! I already had and been through 2weeks of my Interns. Hmm.. so far sooo.. er? Actually, Im not quite sure what word should I use, cause I dont know how to describe that kinda feeling. Like seriously, Im doing Filing every single day in Alphabetical Order and sorting them into different kind of Agreement form.
So yea, when youre about to reach Alpha; Z and you feel super relieved as you felt the sense of achievement, your lips will automatically move into one Half-Shaped Donut, you twist your body as youve been sitting down filing for hoursss, when youre stretching your back, 'POOM' more stacks of Paper Document awaits you, to be filed.
So.. yea, call me a Filer-Girl yaw! Hahahaha. So tell me now, how am I suppose to feel, like er..uhuh? Hahaha!
Anyway Anyhow Anyhoo, today's a Saturday and my ass's home for the whole freaking day.
Supposed to meet Ong AhHui today, but she actually woke up even later than me! ZzZzZz and by the time she's awake, Im too lazy to prepare and sway my ass off the house already.
So Imma like a GoodHomeGirl today! And I think I deserve something, in return. Hahaha. See See See! I think I deserve all these Stunning- Looking FootWear~ TeeHee^________________________^
Though I've been buying FootWear pretty often these days. Cant get enough of them all. Too pretty! Daeng* <": 
Oh Oh OH! Met some of HoneyChicas these days, and they say I've change-d! Like, I look Gloriously Radiant now! That even my Mom and Dad share the exact same sentiments. Hahaha. My Skin Complexion's sooo much better now. Just like the old timeee back, when I've yet to fall in love. LOL? Whats with my skin man, seriously?
But anyway, Imma HarpieGirlie knowing that my eggy skin complex's BACK with me yaw! :"D Haheehee.
Bye Annoying Irritating Disturbing and Sickening Pimples Breakout!
Since everything's over now, and theres nothing I can do to bring you back with me..
so Im putting in my best in seizing Every Single Day in life; Carpe Diem!
Right thats all for today, BuhBye Cookies!
CHU♥ Xo A
"massacre in love "
Now, Im starting to buy and believe their words, as in really really B E L I E V E, for sure. (head nodding NON-STOP)
Anyway, till this moment of time, theres still no Hatred or any Negative Feelings. And I dont wish to develop any. Like seriously, come`on, I was once in love with this person, we shared so many things together, create countless of memories, walked passed numerous of lanes and pathways, been through shocking numbers of incidents together.. we..both laughed, smiled, talked, argued, quibbled, cried and loved before.
See the thing that Im seeing now? Everything..is in a Past-Tense form (ed), now.
Frankly speaking, people who know me should know that I've never been in a BGR for this long, as in for me.. is counted as a woah-shocking months long!
Cause.. I've never wanted an another part in my life, like.. not just yet, maybe?
OhWell, this is life.. Unexpected and Unpredicted incidents dropped and happened halfway through, youve got no choice but to accept it, even without knowing the reason.
Maybe.. this is what we call, love.. no?
Like..everything happens for a reason, yes.. But, love someone with True Feelings is something that doesnt require a specific reason. Like, how can you love someone, just because he/she's smacking good-looking? You'll definitely meet someone with even better looking facial features.
Hmm.. at least to me; I feel that when you truly love someone, deep down from your heart sincerely, no reasons is the best reason of it. Genuinely Love, from one party to another.
Hence whatsoever that I got to know NOW, I wouldnt say its ridiculous.. cause its really kinda like 180° difference. But, I really do appreciate for all these unknown mysterious information from you guys!
I am clear and conscious with my mind now. And.. I've decided that, yes I'll take in those words, but not all, as in all the things that you people have said to me.
Cause afterall, I believed that I am.. wait maybe I should use 'was' instead.
K point is, I was the one who has be with him for almost 9months, I was the one who was experiencing all these things, like his actions, gestures and everything.
I wouldn't say that I know him better than you people, so dont judge him the way you all think it is.
But, I was the one who went through cases and situations, days with him.. so.. hmm. I somehow believe that I kinda know what kind of a person, he is.
Yes maybe, he's acting during those period of time.
Whatsoever I dont care or rather, it doesnt really matter now, for much of a fact. Like seriously, everyone's Fake, no?
We all wear on mask, play as masquerader, depending and varies from scene to scene.
And to me, Im sure even if he were to fake it off during those times with me, there'll definitely still be times, he's being just him, the origin of him.
So, if this love were to be started off sweetly, I'd loved to end this nicely.
Therefore, no matter what.. he'll still remain like how he is, when I love-d him.
I dont and wont mark a stain on this, White Piece of Paper.
Fine.. call me; Silly or named me awful nicks like; Insane Bitch. Can even shoot me in the face saying that; No wonder, Im given the tag of being a Bimbo.
But seriously, 'look at mah FACE, yaw!' Do I look like I care? Na-uh. People who know me, will know that all these terms doesnt affect me or rather wont even disturb a tiny winy bit of me.
Yea, Im just different and Optimistic like that!
But love's an exceptional case.. still, I know that this Pollyanna Soul will always stay in me!
Come to think of that question, people asked me these days.. ; 'Did you regret being with him? Knowing that he is this.. that.. BlahBlahBlah (things blabbering out that I dont even know, thats how he's like? uhuh..)'
My answer's clear-cut--- No, I dont regret, never did and will never do.
Im really Happy when Im with him, as in really really happy.
Im not someone who's like this..
like.. my heart will skip a beat whenever Im gonna meet him,
my heartbeat rate will turn abnormal whenever he look at me, in a certain way (only he knows what I meant, from this),
my actions will turn kiddy most of the times, just to grab his attention when I feel that he's swaying off too far away,
I'd hop around like a rabbit whenever he text me with sweet messages,
I'd smile at myself just by staring at him,
I'd feel super gladly delighted whenever I see my cell screen, with his name Blinking,
I'd feel happy and give out laughter whenever I thought of those moments we shared,
I'd miss him so much when he's not around that, I think.. I kinda smell his perfume,
I'd still be optimistic and smile, even when he's ignoring me.. ,
I'd give up anything and fuck care stuffs when it comes to him,
I'd do silly things for him.. and when I say silly things, I really meant it..as in silly; s i l l y,
I've never wanted to go back to someone once we breakup, unfortunately, I went back to him like.. a million times.
I've never felt my heart ache sooo much that I really cant catch my next breadth (not exaggerating.. People who've been through real heartaches, will understand how I feel),
I love how we waste time together, how we talked about our childhood and how common it gets between us, how we'd always catch all the movies till at times, theres really no movies for us to watch anymore, how we fight then laugh at how stupid our foughts are, how we sit down and talk about everything and anything, how we share our stuffs and past, how we got so used to each other that sometimes we understood, not even when a single word's spill out, how we'd bug on the phone and talk all day long like theres no dark and shine in our day, and most importantly, how amazing it is to spend this 9months with him.
I cant promise, but I'll try to tell myself that this shall be my Last Post for him..
Like, I got to move on with my life, no matter what. Hmm, like DUH, he is happily carrying on without me, and so why cant I, and stop being an Emo-Loser? Hahahaha.
Give me time la deh, I promise-d to search for that Olddd Vinatge Angel's Soul back with me, again k!
The Angel that's gone for like.. 9months?
Yes, its her that Angel.. the way before when I fall in love.
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Yes, even though its over now. I believe you and I felt the special bond we once shared.
Hence theres alot of First Time between You and I.
Like, youve never lasted for this long, youve never do this for a girl before, youve never come back for the same girl.. .. .. and the list goes on.
You; a Zany in love, succeeded in this game with fame of Victory against me; a Jester in love.
So from now on since youre not mine, I've decided to slowly erase you off my mind..
cause I see no point, when Im not and no longer the girl in your mind, and youre still leading your life, as fine.
" its a mark, and it'll be there to turn me nuts "
State of Dilemma, I dont know what I want anymore.
There're too much of a things in mind that causes me to feel that whats the point of holding on and continue delving into it, whereby it takes and needs Two Different Palms to make this sound. Whilst, now.. I can only see my own Palm, and its obvious that One Palm itself creates nothing, and nothing at all.
I've heard alot, in fact too much.. and I've also see some of the things myself. Yes, with my pair of Naked Eyes.
Any comments I'd wanna say regarding about all these..?
Hmm.. come to think of it, Zilch seriously.
Maybe, I just need more time to sort my own feelings out, and at the same time separate Facts and Sayings. Theres too much of infos and things, Im currently having now. Too much, coming out all from different Beings.
Anyway, Im too lethargic to carry on typing, so Im gonna like drop dead for now and continue bit by bit, day by day k.
Till then, BuhBye and GoodNight Cookies!
" shout to the Heart, and youre to Blame "
Its SUNDAY already! MyOhMy.. Anyway, these 7days of my Pathetic Holidays, I've been kicking my ass out everyday except Friday.. Blame it all on my Red, and Thursday night..I was running on a High Fever, my body temperature was outrageous that night..head freaking stinging with pain, and I thought it had swop places with my KitchenStove. HAHAHA. Ya, I think I funny! ^^
Anyway, Im too lazy to state down where I went on which day and who Im with, so Im just gonna summarize everything up! <":
Full Body Massage+Eye Relaxing Therapy+Milk Bath Jacuzzi+Facial+Shopping(Retail Therapy really works, for me)+Eating+Chilling Out+Singing K(its been hella long!)
Yeap, I think thats all? Everyday with almost different people.
Applaud with the fact that I didnt went Partying/Boozing uh?! Hahahahaha. I am too, actually. LOL.
Frankly speaking, I intended too, in the first place- Wednesday; Ladies' Night!
Wanted to rush back SG from Indon on Wednesday during around Evening Time, so to get myself all ready for Partying.. but something happened on Tuesday night that kinda ruined..okay not kinda but totally ruined my mood.
Still I wanted to rush back to SG for another reason.. Like though Im in Indon, with Autoroam Service, those messages and calls I got and received didnt really made me feel that its worth going back that early anymore.
Ohwell.. Right, back on reality path; Im gonna sleep early tonight!
Hmm.. frankly speaking, I kinda cant wait for the tomorrow's arrival? HAHAHA.
I really wanna try to work in an office environment! You know its a total different kinda experience and so! No doubt..Yea, all my HoneyChicas think that Im insane to have this mentality. HAHAHAHAHA.
'Bimbo..in an office?'---Typical and Oh-So-Not-Surprise Response I get.. -_____________________________-
Whatsoever! (roll eyeballs, turn and flip hair!) Im still looking forward to it kkk! :"D
OkieDookie, wish me luck and have a GoodNight rest tonight Cookies!
BuhByeee!
OH and I did my nails last Saturday. Its ruined and Im having naked nails now. Gonna do something new this week again k! <":
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Theres this random day during this week time.. I went to somewhere near; This Place.
This Place you once said to me, 'That place kinda haunt me when we're seperated.. cause theres alot of memories there.. all those laughter we had and things we shared.'
I wandered around, having a bag of thoughts in mind, yet dare not walk any nearer cause I know those memories will flash back even more vivid and shine.
'Do you remember which place am I referring to?'
*Iluma; This Place.
" youre not like an icon, right click and delete "
