i'll never understand y o u

was talking to Cleon on msn just now .. about a very sucky topic ; L O V E .
dont know why .. but chatting with him about this fucked up thing makes me feel so .. cramped .
something's wrong with me , i guess ? it has been quite some time since i last felt this way .. a very terrible demoralizing feeling hidden somewhere deep down in me .

i need some space for me to pour everything out ..
i need someone to hear me ..
and i need something for me to lean on ..

' come and go ' this is what youre best at .
i dont know why , but whenever the mission of erasing you out of my mind is almost completed , you'll give a knock back in my life again . ( ROLL EYES ! ) not once , but uncountable times ..
your name , your face , your voice , your everything .. isnit something new to my brain and heart anymore ..

youre one nutshell thats hard to crack ,
one sudoku game that i'll never be able to figure out ,
one maze that i'll never find the correct way out ..
youre too hard for me to understand .. without any doubts in it .

someone has to put that fullstop to this , and it will be me .
from now on , you'll be totally out of the picture .
i dint want this to happen too , but your actions force me to ..
you know i wont if you dont , .. and still you dint met up to it with me .
so i guess we're both living in two different world ..
( we're better off this way .. )
and i supposed , all we had to do now , is nothing but bidding goodbye .
cause everything about you seems to be a lie .. a guiltless twisted lie .

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i need a break from school work , to booze and p a r t y all night long and forget all those unnecessary things !

" either way , i cant breathe "